Gunned Down Clusters

Initially, my first cries, 

Were like, me. 

The star of each and every eye. 

All the love, pampering. 

Those hilarious memories

Of hidden crimes by siblings,

And I’m spilling it all, 

After so much “yes yes” 

And influential explaination,

My innocence so dormant.

Then, learning about people,

Feeling so lonely, craving,

For ‘you’,

For what ‘she’ was not,

And for ‘someone’ now gone,

Who said, I owe you a lot,

In innocence probably, I don’t know,

But it was.

I was always indifferent somewhat 

I don’t know, what crimes I did.

I remembered, I knew it all,

I was the versatile, the best,

The one, who everyone said, 

From children to bigger bodies, lovely.

Too good.

And when I screamed then,

They probably laughed, 

They punished, or just ignored,

No matter, 

How much I explain, 

Getting slaps for no reason! 

I was wrong probably, I don’t know

I had done much graver mistakes,

Locking myself up behind doors,

Crying for people, who didn’t even look,

Loving them, caressing them, freeing them,

My ‘lives’ all left, those ‘evils’, stayed,

And intervening were two indisputably separates.

Where and what??

Shattered, laughing 

Saying anything, to anyone,

Babbling, and for ‘you’, gave it all,

‘I’ didn’t matter no more.

Now on screens, where we are?

‘She’ too falls, ‘you’ too falls,

Angels no more is in this heart.

Dear why you still here?

You are not. You have gone!

You are. You have gone!

I’m here, for what?

I’m sitting thinking it all.

Then, next were people who support for themselves or I don’t know. 

Selfish minds. 

Haha! Comments like I won’t speak. 

I’m lost somewhere. Depressed. Killed. 

What the journey, of no story. 

I don’t remember what I lived till now?

I don’t even have any feelings left, probably.

All the coruscating glow plugged in

Always, being an armour,

At some point, feeling too chilled out,

And now. What now?

The silent. The lost. 

My locutions,

Elaborated to me! I’m having this 

Pistol of not interested gestures.

My middle finger, ain’t visible,

But boomed are more meters of expressions. 

Underneath the dermis for thanks of some

These tissues burning. 

I’m bored,

I’m always, my kind of music,

Never was recited, never happened,

Never are those perpetual wires,

Ever were formed.

Smoking thoughts and white darker shades

I’m waking each day, bored. 

No one can ever decipher, no more,

Nothing at all, I have got to cut anymore.

I’m too young, too bored, too fallen,

Too much yet to grow. 

I’m a destroyer and a maker. 

I’m an unfathomable cloud, somewhat.

Happily raining from too long,

Just in too many swirls.

Amidst

Uncompressing atmospheric rhymes,

The blood now all freezing and cold,

Nerves, too warmth still left, illuminating,

The lightening and blizzards saving,

I’m bringing in catastrophic storms,

Fixing me. Me, me,

I’m animosity, a scavenger, of my own,

I’m, I’m squalling and unheard,

All too in peace,

No more cleansing these windows,

For blurred are those screens,

Too numb now. 

I’m too much at line pointed on zero. 

I’m walking on the sweet bitter coals,

Heating a bit, all washed, by storms,

A choked up calmness. 

All goodness all badness,

I don’t care for anything anymore,

Everything seems too small,

As soon as it happens, 

It’s all gone. 

Too long, too much still to cover,

Now favorites are last benches 

And corners. 

Still the average, the studious, 

The versatile, with no care,

With no much expectations, of staying, 

Still casting healing spells, 

A bit of diving, when leaving kisses,

Ah! A habitual conundrum.

So used to it, just don’t like but

That images you see and use as background pictures.

Ain’t cool right! Remember?

Then people without a second thought,

Judge so simply, tell me to explain,

Explaining but what? 

Where is the bullet, I want to shoot,

Blow up your mind now! 

Why the hell, I still do explain?

When I say, listen and save yourself. 

Don’t expect for any sympathy. 

Explaining are they and talking empathetic,

Explaining the “Rejeuvenated winds”

What’s life? Believe. That’s hilarious. 

©err1585

(A quick write)

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